Why My PSP Is Shit
I know some of you, confused individuals that you are, won’t agree with me on this - but the PSP is shit.
It’s so horrendously rubbish that we, the consumers, need to make our feelings known before Sony try to sell us the larger, smellier turd that is the PS3. In an effort to do this before anyone pre-orders a PS3, 1 submit the notion that the PSP be renamed the POS in the popular vernacular.
I do have some reasons why this should be so:
Problem the first: The PSP - a portable device aimed at the cool jet setters of this world to play games and watch movies. But it’s not region free? I’m stifling a WTF here, but why is it region locked? Games aren’t, though, or you wouldn’t think they were. But try to play a US version of Socom from the UK - fancy playing a clanmatch while you’re away on your business trip? Well you can piss right off.
Problem the second: Sony are more interested in killing homebrew that making decent games. The only incentive to upgrade your firmware is to play the latest (har) games. Sure they bundled a web browser once - but there are plenty of home brew ones out there. Perhaps what irritates Sony more than the piracy of their own godawful games is the plain fact that many PSP owners want to play a game designed for a handheld console, not a staid rehash of an iconic PS1 game - Wipeout anyone.
Problem the third: They balls up the good games. Who out there didn’t want to play a new version of Metal Gear? Stifling excitement after reading one of many glowing reviews of that steaming turd.
Problem the fourth: For a portable device it has sod all games suitable for play on a journey to work. That sucks - I want to zone out on the train and, you know, maybe have some fun?
Problem the fifth: After the PS3 comes out Sony are going to sell us link up games - so not only will you be able to buy one tedious £40 game - you’ll be enticed to collect them.
The author would like to point out that this article is satire. In no way is he trying to imply that the PSP is a piece of crap. Neither should it be implied that he think Sony are a bunch of money grabbing gangsters who’re spending more time thwarting piracy than making good games. He certainly doesn’t think that you shoud go to Hackaday and read up how to degrade your useless PSP to a homebrew friendly version here
http://www.hackaday.com/2006/09/02/psp-firmware-downgrader/.
Hey guys, I really enjoy your site. I want to talk but I can’t e-mail you due to you not posting them. E-mail me back ASAP. Thanks!
nick@younewb.com
comment from Nick
September 12th, 2006 at 8:42 pm
PSP is awesome, you are full of shit.
And yes, most PSP owners do want a new Metal Gear
comment from Extinction
September 12th, 2006 at 9:08 pm
Hmm, I can’t consider the PSP a complete piece of shit. Well, because i usually don’t clad my hands in shit. I’d call it dung at most, perhaps even manure.
Anyway, the PSP has it’s problems, but so has every of hardware out there. Nothing we can’t live with. People just find them more in the PSP because is says Sony on it.
Personally, there’s only one thing i really hate about it. The position of the analog stick. There is no way to comfortably keep your thumb on it, so I avoid all games that use it.
And about the games, of which i have 5, not one is a PS2 re-release. And I enjoy most of them, so can’t complain there either.
comment from Kamo
September 13th, 2006 at 11:41 am
Agreed, my PSP is next to worthless (sans homebrew, why do you think I bought it!)
comment from Jeph
September 13th, 2006 at 3:25 pm
Sony can kiss my pink member, they have delayed the PS3 ’til after Xmas because they couldn’t make enough blue lasers to go around. But Japan and America get theirs at Xmas…
Europe loses out again … my money is going to Nintendo, at least they are original in concept and fun in design… and damn addictive games as well.
I am a DS Lite owner and proud!
comment from Bungee
September 20th, 2006 at 10:13 am
The PSP is so UN-FUN it isn’t funny. And what is with their god aweful console designs? The PSP is ugly as sin, as is the PS2! The PS3 continues their ugly console tradition.
I can’t wait to see Sony go down. The PSP is a piece of ass and the PS3 is going to send them broke. Suck s**t, you corporate assholes.
Whoever does their PR should be ashamed, because consumers hate that company more than anyone else because of their greedy antics.
comment from Simon
September 22nd, 2006 at 5:29 am
is there a downgrader for psp v2.80
comment from courtney
November 2nd, 2006 at 4:55 pm
the only problem i find with the psp is the limited battery power. i only get about an hour and a half of gameplay before i have to recharge it.
comment from Gnorc
December 8th, 2006 at 3:42 am
Yes the psp is shite, I own one unfourtunatualy. I play the 1 game that works on it (Championship Manager) Everything else about it is crap. The battery runs out after 50min. Games are striped down vershions with crap content. The analog stick is in a rubbish posision and can not be used for more than 10 min. The offisual movie encoder softwhere for it will not encode movies for more than 4 mins, To combat piracy. I could spend all day but i wont bore u. If u want games get a ds, if u want movies and pics get an archos.
u have been warned.
comment from Alex
April 30th, 2008 at 12:52 am
1. when psp came out there were promises of loads of periphs. years later we have a 1.3 mp camera (my lg viewty has 7 with more features) and a gps unit (which is way overdue by so long that tomtom has dropped in price enough to be cheaper plus it has touchscreen).
2. games are overpriced
3. i cant view ebay because my psp “has run out of memory” which makes me run outta patience
4. the latest fw blocks me from hotmail. usefull.
5. when sites use flash, psp doesnt or it cant be arsed
verdict - crap
comment from minigeff
October 25th, 2008 at 9:43 am